Q. I’m happily married and planning a fun short break to Las Vegas with a very close friend to celebrate our 30th birthdays. She is single and loves to chat up and meet men when we’re on a night out, which leaves me feeling awkward and like a spare part. On a previous trip to Madrid she ended up going to a guy’s hotel, leaving me to walk back to ours alone. I don’t fancy being in that situation again — how do I avoid it?
A. I suspect your friend is equally worried that going away with a happily married woman will cramp her partying style. Emotionally she may want to spend each evening with you, but it could prove hard to explain that concept to her libido when it’s like a crazed animal hurling itself against the bars of its cage.
There is a lot to be said for celibacy, and most of it begins with “Why me?”. Woman cannot live by vibrator alone, and I’m a firm believer in a female’s inalienable right to life, liberty … and the happiness of pursuit. Hey, if God hadn’t meant us to hunt men he wouldn’t have given us the Wonderbra.
And by the age of 30, no matter how independent and self-sufficient, a woman can find herself hunting for a mate equipped with everything bar a net and a tranquilliser dart. Why? Well, many thirtysomething females start to think that they have developed tinnitus, but it’s just the endless ringing of wedding bells as all their friends get hitched. Once the snooze alarm goes off on their biological clock, they are no longer looking for Mr Right, but Mr Kind of OK, Mr Vaguely Bearable or Mr It’s Getting Late So You’ll Have to Do.
So yes, I agree with you — your friend’s “I’m single and ready to mingle” mindset is definitely not ideal on a trip planned to celebrate your enduring friendship. Although you are clearly loyal pals, right now you’re obviously not on the same page. Same page? You’re not even reading the same book, let alone chapter.
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Ultimately, is she really your best travel companion right now? Over the years I’ve hit the pause button on many friendships, only to hit “play” again when the time felt right.
So, yes, a frank chat about holiday expectations is required, but a compromise is possible. Las Vegas hotels are big complexes, meaning that you can have fun and frivolity together by day, then base yourselves in the hotel at night for cocktails, suppers and shows — if your girlfriend does get lucky in love, you can then simply slip away safely to your room.
That said, the odds are in your favour. Most visitors to Vegas are there to lay one thing only — their cards on the table. Chances are, you will end up enjoying the most happy, carefree holiday full of the sort of love, laughter and in-jokes that only old friends can share. Yes, your chum may end the holiday still footloose and fiancé-free, but your friendship will remain gloriously intact.
Make it happen
Vegas hotels are notorious for their rooftop pool parties and throbbing on-site nightclubs, not to mention casinos humming with high rollers — so go for one with a few opportunities for non-mingling activities. A peaceful spa or theatre with live entertainment, say, will buy you quality time with your pal away from champagne-buying chancers. The Egyptian-themed Luxor has its spacious Nurture Spa, with hot tubs and eucalyptus steam rooms perfect for post-night-out gossip sessions, plus a theatre featuring performances by Cirque du Soleil, opera stars and comedians — stack that itinerary and hope for the best. Four nights’ room only starts at £1,216pp, including flights (virginholidays.co.uk).
Our different diets mean we have to eat separately — help!
Q. My girlfriend is vegan and gluten-free, while I’m a meat-lover and an adventurous eater who always wants to try new cuisines, and finding a place to eat while on holiday abroad has been a challenge. In Singapore, for her meal, we visited a vegan place where I would just sit with a drink, then we’d go to a steakhouse, where she would watch me eat while complaining about the smell of the meat and fish. Apart from this we don’t have any real differences. How can we enjoy eating out on holiday?
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A. Fasting? A liquids-only spa retreat? Or what about fast food (literally — as in ten minutes gobbling down dinner in her favourite restaurant followed by a quick dash to your favourite eatery to do the same; not speed dating, but speed eating)?
But seriously, what comes out of a person’s mouth is so much more important than what goes into it. A delicious course of discourse, as in food for thought, is the most important part of a meal. Apart from this diet discrepancy you don’t have any other real differences — well, to me that’s a true recipe for success.
If your girlfriend doesn’t like a meaty aroma (the steaks are high), I have one word for you: “picnic” — fume-free alfresco dining could be the way to go.
Plump for a hipster-leaning foodie city with great restaurants that will allow the two of you to graze under one roof. Copenhagen has the Torvehallerne indoor market, with vegan and carnivorous bites by vendors such as Grod (torvehallernekbh.dk), as well as vegan options at non-vegan spots such as the Lago restaurant and wine bar (lagolago.dk).
Alternatively, try Berlin, where even the currywurst vendors serve vegan options without a sneer, while Scheers Schnitzel has veal and vegan versions of its signature dish (scheers-schnitzel.de). Restaurants such as Gazzo do vegan and non-vegan pizzas with flair (gazzopizza.com).
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Most important, don’t lose your sense of humour about this gastronomic variance — turn the topic into an anecdotal amuse-bouche; after all, many a true word is spoken ingest.
Make it happen
Copenhagen is packed with foodie options that will help you to expand your dinner horizons. Stay at the Hotel Mayfair in Vesterbro, one of the city’s coolest neighbourhoods, for plenty of access to tofu, cashew butter and soy milk (plus burgers for you). Being able to eat together will leave you plenty of time to reconnect on the things you do have in common — maybe picking up homeware at the area’s indie shops, exploring its Meatpacking District taprooms and galleries or romantic strolls through Enghaveparken. Three nights’ room only starts at £350pp, including flights (ba.com).
Do you need Kathy’s help with a travel problem? Email us at travel@sunday-times.co.uk
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